Weekly Voice Insights 101: What Story Am I Repeating?

            

“If any person does ill by you, immediately consider what it is they have done amiss; and you will forget your anger.”

—Epictetus  Based on Discourses 1.18

Greek Vocabulary

• θυμός (thymos): anger, emotional surge
• συγγνώμη (sygnōmē): allowance for error
• ἐξέτασις (exetasis): examination, close inspection
• προσοχή (prosochē): attention, careful awareness
• φαντασία (phantasia): appearance, impression

During a recent performance of American Jukebox: Foster 200, I lost part of the text in Stephen Foster’s Father Abraham. Since then, a line from the song has continued to run through my head.

At first, repeating the line helped me locate the mistake and consider what I could do the next time I perform the song. After that, it continued to return, bringing back some of the physical and emotional response I had connected to the mistake.

Thymos means anger or emotional surge. I know that surge. I work on recognizing it as it begins and remembering S-T-O-I-C: Stop, Take three breaths, Observe, Interpret, and Choose how to respond. Those steps give me time to notice my immediate reaction and determine what has actually happened before I go any further.

I notice this especially when I think I have made a mistake. Technology is a frequent example. Something does not work, and I react before I have figured out what happened. The frustration may begin with the device, but it often turns back on me.

Sygnōmē, means allowance for error. “Expect imperfection always” comes to mind. I understand that as a general principle. Applying it to the exact moment when I have made a mistake requires greater awareness and discipline.

Allowance for error does not remove responsibility. The mistake in Father Abraham happened. 

Exetasis ,examination or close inspection. I take this as an instruction to keep watch over my own behavior rather than immediately commentating on everything that has occurred. Close inspection asks what happened and what can be learned from it. Replaying the event indefinitely does not necessarily add anything to that examination.

Prosochē, attention or careful awareness, adds another part of the process. I have been considering the connection between intention and attention. Intention comes first, and attention follows. 

Sometimes an event is real, while the story growing around it exceeds what occurred. At other times, the underlying story may be based largely on phantasia, appearance or impression.

I recently encountered two people I had not seen for some time. I had assumed that they were not interested in interacting with me. When we spoke, both conversations were warm and personable. Neither person had actually done anything that justified the irritation I had attached to them.

Where did I get the story I had on them?

Looking again at the quotation, I notice that it begins with the word “if”: “If any person does ill by you.” Before examining what another person has done amiss, I may first need to ask whether anything was done to me at all. Was the perceived offense accurate, or had I created a story and repeated it until it began to feel established?

It can also be both. Someone may have acted imperfectly, and I may still be adding meanings or intentions that I cannot know. 

Looking closely at anger does not mean giving every surge an extended analysis. It means noticing what the body is reporting and examining what occurred. The surge may point toward something I need to learn. 

Inner Check-In

• What story am I fashioning each time I repeat this event to myself?
• What have I learned from this, and what no longer needs repeating?
• How does my voice change when I speak from an assumption I have not examined?

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