Weekly Insight #25: The Listener’s Perspective – Hearing Yourself Objectively
We hear ourselves differently than the world does. The voice we carry in our head—resonant, familiar, and full of intention—often sounds different when played back to us. That disconnect can be unsettling. But what if we learned to listen to ourselves the way others do? What if we could bridge the gap between what we think we’re communicating and how our voice is actually received?
This week, we explore how listening objectively can refine vocal delivery, deepen self-awareness, and bring clarity to our communication.
Why Your Voice Sounds Different to You
Most of us have had that moment—hearing ourselves on a recording and thinking, "Do I really sound like that?"
The answer is yes, but only to everyone else.
When we speak, sound travels to our ears through two pathways:
Air conduction – The sound leaves our mouth and travels through the air. This is how others hear us.
Bone conduction – Vibrations travel through our skull, creating a richer, deeper internal version of our voice.
Since we experience both at the same time, our own voice often seems warmer or fuller in our head than it does to the outside world. This is why recorded playback can be surprising—it strips away bone conduction, revealing only what others perceive.
For vocal clarity, the goal isn’t to sound different—it’s to align what we intend to communicate with how we are actually heard.
Listening to Yourself Without Judgment
The first step in refining vocal delivery is learning to listen without self-criticism. Many people react to their recorded voice with discomfort, focusing on what they don’t like rather than what they can learn. Instead, shift your perspective:
Does your voice match the emotion you intended?
Is your speech clear, or do certain words get lost?
Is there a difference between how you feel while speaking and how it actually sounds?
The voice is not a fixed entity—it’s adaptable. Listening back isn’t about correcting your voice, but about fine-tuning how effectively your voice reflects your message.
Capturing Your Voice in Everyday Moments
One of the best ways to hear your voice as it truly exists is to capture it in unscripted moments—when you’re not thinking about it.
We often adjust our speech when we know we’re being recorded, but natural, everyday speech is where we truly hear our vocal tendencies. Try this:
Listen to voice messages you send
Many of us leave quick voice messages for friends or colleagues. Go back and listen—what patterns emerge?
Does your voice carry the same ease and energy you thought it did?
Are there places where clarity drops or tone shifts unexpectedly?
Capture casual conversations
Record yourself leaving a spontaneous voicemail or narrating something to yourself as you would naturally speak.
Compare this to how you sound when you speak with intention—what’s different?
Reflect on how you adjust in different settings
Do you speak differently when talking to a friend versus in a professional setting?
Does your tone shift when you’re excited, tired, or under pressure?
How does your breath and pace change when you’re more comfortable?
This kind of self-awareness builds a bridge between natural speech and intentional communication. The more we understand our own patterns, the more we can adjust without forcing or overthinking it.
A Simple Exercise: Hearing Yourself with Fresh Ears
Choose a short phrase—perhaps something simple like *Today is a good day.*
Record yourself saying it naturally, without overthinking.
Play it back and listen for:
Does your voice sound the way you expected?
Are your words clear and easy to understand?
Does your tone match the meaning of the phrase?
Now, try adjusting one element at a time:
Experiment with pitch:
Say the phrase once with a slightly higher voice, then with a lower voice.
What changes? Does one sound more engaged?
Experiment with volume:
Say it softly, then say it louder.
Does the meaning shift? Does a louder voice sound more assertive?
Experiment with pace:
Say it slowly, then try it at a faster speed.
How does the energy of the phrase feel different? Does a faster pace feel more conversational or rushed?
Experiment with emphasis:
Try stressing different words in the phrase:
TODAY is a good day.
Today IS a good day.
Today is a GOOD day.
When you emphasize a word, you’re actually lengthening the vowel in that word.
In TODAY is a good day, the second vowel in today is lengthened, making it stand out.
In Today is a GOOD day, the vowel in good is slightly lengthened and given more breath pressure.
This is what gives speech a sense of rhythm and intentionality.
Listen back after each adjustment. Which version sounds closest to what you intended? Which version sounds most natural?
Bridging into the Half-Year Reflection
Over the past several months, we’ve explored breath, vowel shaping, intention, and adaptability. But none of these elements exist in isolation—each one affects how we are heard.
As we prepare for our six-month reflection next week, consider this:
What insights have shaped how you use your voice?
What patterns have you noticed in your own vocal delivery?
How does your voice align with your message?
Next week, we’ll take a step back and look at how these insights have built upon one another—not just in vocal technique, but in the way we listen, communicate, and express ourselves.
Final Thought
Your voice is not static. It is constantly shifting, shaped by breath, intent, and awareness. The more you listen—not just to others, but to yourself—the more you refine the art of being heard.
#DevelopingYourAuthenticVoice #Leadership #Resonance #EmotionalIntelligence #Teaching #Adaptability #DYAVWithElias #VocalLeadership #ResonateWithPurpose #MindfulCommunication #VoiceExercises
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