Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Weekly Voice Insights #64- When Preparation Meets Trust




It’s Wednesday evening, and I’m reflecting on this morning’s conversation with Susan A. Moore, Community Engagement Manager, Certified Business Analyst, and Podcast Host — and the international BAs.

As I was preparing yesterday, I kept thinking about how Leontyne Price took a lifetime of refined skill and made it feel completely human. That connected directly to what we discussed this morning. These are people who work with huge amounts of specialized information every day — tools, methods, certifications — and their challenge is the same one every expert faces: how to communicate what you know in a way that someone else can actually take in.

I had been rehearsing in my head, the way I always do. That kind of preparation helps. It gives me context and helps me find the rhythm. But after a while, you get too many ideas. You start thinking, oh, I could say this, or what if I forget that? It’s not that the ideas are bad — they’re all mostly good — but you can’t say everything.

It’s the same in performing. You prepare, you mark everything in the score, you know every note. But the moment the conductor gives the downbeat, you have to let it go. You trust that the work is there. You listen, and you react.

That’s what I reminded myself to do this morning. I had done the work. I didn’t need to control how it went. I just needed to set a context and respond to what happened.

Most of us talk about things we’ve said many times before — in meetings, in lessons, in directions we give over and over. And because we know where the thought is going, we stop hearing it. You know how that goes — not completely monotone, but flatter, less varied. We do it without even thinking about it, because the content is so familiar, and the sound follows our focus.

That’s where our own awareness comes in. If I listen to myself — really listen — I can hear whether I’m giving an idea time to land or if I’m rushing through it. The subtle changes in pitch, pacing, and tone are tied right to what’s happening inside. When I take a step back and listen the way I’d listen to someone else, I learn what needs more space or what needs more focus.

To let people know about the talk, I posted something on Instagram using one of their music options — a clip of Leontyne Price singing Doretta’s Aria from Puccini’s La Rondine. It was so beautiful and so accessible that it stopped me. The recording fit perfectly with the theme of Authentic Voice, which is what Susan had titled the session.

Singing in Italian, or really in any language that isn’t your own, and doing it loudly enough for a hall full of people — that’s naturally a bit artificial. It’s heightened, even over-the-top. And yet the great singers, like Leontyne Price, make it feel completely personal. They turn something that could seem grand or distant into something intimate and human.

That’s what communication at its best does. It doesn’t matter if you’re onstage or in a meeting — the challenge is the same. How do you make something that could feel formal, technical, or distant sound like you? How do you let your message feel personal enough to connect and resonate with everyone in the room?

That, to me, is what the work of voice really is. It’s not only about projection; it’s about connection.

When I watch people speak — at conferences, in meetings, online — you can tell who’s internalized what they’re saying and who’s still reading it off the page. The ones who’ve really thought it through don’t have to rush. They let each idea land. They trust the content.

That’s what I tried to do this morning. Prepare deeply, then trust what was there. Let the questions lead, and see what came up.

Earlier today, when I opened my planner, the quote for the day, attributed to the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, said, “Don’t just speak your training — embody it, live it.” That hit exactly where I was.

The temptation was to want to remember every single idea from these notes so I wouldn’t forget anything important. But it wasn’t a presentation. It was a conversation.

I didn’t need pages of prompts or reminders — that would have just gotten in the way. The ideas were already in me. I’d thought them through, said them out loud, and they were settled there. My job was to stay present, to listen, and to let them rise when they were needed.

That’s the discipline. That’s the work — showing up, listening, and trusting the preparation enough to let it breathe in real time.

If you’d like to watch the full 45‑minute conversation we did this morning, it’s available here: https://www.youtube.com/live/CnMOGGfk65c?si=U0aOhm43qzcmLyyv


Related Posts
Bias Alert Check‑In: Guarding Clarity in Voice and Awareness
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/10/weekly-voice-insights-59-bias-alert.html

Before You Speak: The Discipline of Intention
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/06/44-weekly-insight-when-voice-advice.html

Finding Steadiness in Uncertainty
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/07/weekly-insight-49-breath-isnt-fix.html

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Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Weekly Voice Insights #63 – Grounding the Voice: Adding Depth to “Stage Ready Rituals”


 

“Beauty comes not from adornment but from the order of one’s soul.”
— Epictetus, Discourses 3.1 

When I came across Stage Ready Rituals by Salvatore Manzi, a leadership and communication coach who helps professionals bring calm focus to their speaking, I recognized a kindred approach. His eight-step checklist is one of the clearest I’ve seen—simple, physical, and immediately useful before stepping on stage or into a meeting.

These reflections don’t add to his process. They explore what’s already there: how breath, balance, and intention turn quick rituals into embodied practice. Each step connects to principles from Developing Your Authentic Voice and echoes Stoic ideas that anchor composure in awareness.

1. Box Breathing → The Farinelli Breath

Breath steadies judgment. The even inhale, hold, and exhale organize the body and prepare the mind.

“If your efforts are uncertain, the results will be too.” — Epictetus, Discourses 1.13.7
  • When your breath begins deliberately, your speech follows it.

Related reading:

Weekly Insight #17: Building Your 12-Minute Practice Plan—Start with Breath 🎶   https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/12/weekly-insight-17-building-your-12.html

2. Strike a Post → Align Before Sound

Confidence isn’t a pose—it’s balance. Breath rises from the feet through the body like air through an organ pipe. Stillness and grounding make sound clear.

“Beauty comes not from adornment but from the order of one’s soul.” — Epictetus, Discourses 3.1

  • Unnecessary motion blurs meaning; alignment reveals it.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #61 – Listening Before Leading: The Discipline of Perception
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/10/weekly-voice-insight-61-listening.html

3. Say Your Why Aloud → Intention in Action

Speaking your “why” out loud isn’t for memorization; it’s for resonance. It lets you hear where tone and intention meet.

“First decide who you want to be, then act accordingly.” — Enchiridion 33.6

  • Purpose becomes physical when vibration gives it shape.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #58 – Listicles Aren’t Mystical: From Checklists to Integrated Practice https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/09/insight-58-listicles-arent-mystical.html

4. First and Last → Anchoring the Arc

In voice work, the beginning and end of a phrase reveal steadiness. Rehearsing those moments aloud helps you feel timing and confidence.

“Each skill is strengthened by the act itself—walk by walking, speak by speaking.” — Discourses 2.18.1

  • Every repetition builds clarity and trust.

Related reading:

Weekly Voice Insights #59 – Bias Alert Check-In: Guarding Clarity in Voice and Awareness -https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/10/weekly-voice-insights-59-bias-alert.html

Voice Insights #12 – Distilling and Demystifying Voice Production https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/11/weekly-insight-12-distilling-and.html

5. Visualize Best-Case → Mental Rehearsal and Release

Visualization prepares you to adapt, not control. Once the picture is clear, you let it go.

“Train your mind to adapt to any circumstance… if circumstances take you off script, you won’t be desperate for a new prompting.” — Discourses 2.2

  • Grounded preparation frees spontaneity.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #60 – Listening for What’s Actually There
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/10/weekly-voice-insight-60-breath-airflow.html

6. Vocal Warm-Up → Purposeful Sound-Making

Warm-ups mean little without intention. Each sound should train something—resonance, clarity, or release.

“Train your speech to reflect clarity and reason—it’s part of the work of the soul.” — Discourses 2.10

  • Sound practice is thought practice.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #15 – Choosing Exercises with Purpose
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/11/weekly-insight-15-choosing-exercises.html

Weekly Voice Insights #17 – Building Your 12-Minute Practice Plan: Start with Breath
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/12/weekly-insight-17-building-your-12.html

Weekly Voice Insights #18 – From Breath to Vowels: A Foundational Warm-Up
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/12/weekly-insight-18-from-breath-to.html

7. Primal Release → Locate and Let Go

Freedom often looks messy. Sound and movement uncover tension before refinement begins.

“If you want to make progress, be willing to look foolish in the eyes of others.” — Enchiridion 29

  • Ease replaces effort once judgment falls away.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #52 – Let the Breath Move You
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/08/weekly-insight-52-52-weeks-of.html

8. Foot Focus → Grounded Awareness

Before speaking, feel the floor. Breath rises like air through a pipe—rooted below, free above.

“Present anything you wish, Fortune. I have resources within me that make use of it all.” — Discourses 1.6.37

  • Grounding isn’t only stance you strike. It’s the sense that your weight, breath, and focus are working together without effort.

Related reading:
Weekly Voice Insights #56 – Grounded Speech: Finding Stability in Movement
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/09/weekly-insight-56-art-of-listening-from.html

Each of Salvatore’s eight rituals points toward one truth: the body is not a bystander in communication. Breath, grounding, and intention are the quiet disciplines that make confidence visible. When practiced deliberately, they turn preparation into clarity—not performance.

Further Resources

Elias Mokole | Keynote Speaker, BA & Beyond 2025
Voice, Breath, and Clarity | Developing Your Authentic Voice Newsletter

Please subscribe here: 

https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/develop-your-authentic-voice-7337908264820453378

#DevelopingYourAuthenticVoice #VoiceMatters #Clarity #Steadiness #StoicWisdom #Epictetus


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Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Weekly Voice Insights #62 – Resetting the Breath When Frustration Rises

Catching the moment before reaction — one breath, one exhale, and the tension starts to release.

It usually starts with something small.
A video won’t stream. AirPlay refuses to connect. You’ve done everything right, but it still doesn’t work.

You feel that quick rush — the “why are you doing this to me?” moment. Then you catch it.
You stop, take a slow breath, and exhale completely.

That one action doesn’t erase frustration, but it steadies you enough to see what’s happening.

Anger rarely explodes out of nowhere. Most of the time it’s a small interruption — something that blocks what you meant to do. Anger is often just blocked intention — the body’s way of saying, something isn’t going the way I pictured it.

The body reacts first; the mind joins in later.
And where you feel it varies. Maybe it’s the jaw. Maybe the shoulders. Maybe deep in the stomach. Wherever it is, that’s where you start.

When you find it, let the breath do its job.
A full exhale releases the pressure that built up before you even noticed it. It’s not symbolic. It’s physical.
Breath clears the tension, resets the rhythm, and helps you return to your own sound.

Stoic Lens

Epictetus reminds us that the event isn’t the problem — it’s how we meet it.
He put it plainly:

“When anything irritates you, remember that you are not disturbed by the thing itself, but by your judgment about it.”

The Stoics taught a simple discipline: impressions first. When something happens, notice it and remind yourself, this is only an impression. That short pause keeps the event from turning into a story.

Epictetus also wrote,

“Do not be swept away by the impression; pause a little.”

That pause is the space breath gives you. It’s small, but it’s where self-command begins.

Anger is fast. Breath is slow.
Each full exhale restores your command of the moment.

He also said,

“If someone succeeds in provoking you, remember that your mind is complicit in the provocation.”

It’s a blunt reminder that reaction is never one-sided. The same applies to things — even to a piece of technology that refuses to cooperate. The device isn’t conspiring against you; your mind is joining the argument. Catching that partnership early is what practice looks like.

A 60-Second Protocol When Anger Flares

• Acknowledge: “Anger present.”
• Breathe: One full inhale, one slow exhale.
• Clarify: What was I trying to do a moment ago?
• Decide: What’s the next small action I can actually control?

Anger is fast, but it burns out quickly if you don’t feed it. Breath slows it down enough to see what’s real and what’s imagined.

Singers learn this early. When the breath gets tight, the sound tightens too.

Yes — that’s a real, observable thing, not just a metaphor.

When teachers or singers say “the breath gets tight,” they’re describing a set of physical responses that restrict how freely air moves through the torso and throat. It usually happens under tension, effort, or self-consciousness.

Here’s what’s actually going on:

  • The ribs stop expanding — the intercostal muscles (between the ribs) hold instead of allowing the sides to widen.

  • The abdominal wall stiffens — you’re bracing, as if for impact, rather than letting the lower belly move naturally with the breath.

  • The throat narrows — the laryngeal muscles tighten, which you can feel as a slight squeezing or lifting in the neck.

  • The exhale becomes forced or shallow — air trickles out in bursts instead of flowing smoothly.

When that happens, tone quality changes immediately: less resonance, more pressure, less ease. In speech it sounds clipped or strained; in singing it sounds pushed or flat.

That’s why a deliberate exhale — really letting the lungs empty — is so effective. It resets the muscles that were holding and reminds the body what an unforced breath feels like.

Frustration does the same thing. A “tight reaction” is the emotional version of that same squeeze — your body braces, your timing speeds up, and your tone carries strain instead of clarity.

The fix isn’t to overthink it; it’s to release it. Let the ribs move again. Let the air out fully. The voice resets on its own. So does your mind.

The same instrument that carries a message of warmth can also carry temper. The breath doesn’t choose sides; you do.

Before you move on, take a minute to experience what this feels like in practice.

A Short Breath Meditation

Take a deep breath, breathing all the way down into the abdomen.
Feel the chest and stomach fill with air.
Then exhale slowly and completely.
When you exhale, make a deliberate effort to empty the lungs completely.

As you breathe, notice what parts of your body respond.
Which muscles join the inhale?
Where does the release happen on the exhale?
Keep your attention there for a few breaths.

You can’t stop frustration from showing up. But you can notice where it lives in you, breathe once, and start again.

A full exhale doesn’t just clear the lungs. It clears the moment.

Related Posts

Weekly Voice Insights #9 – How Emotional Energy Affects Our Voice and Body
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/10/weekly-insight-9-how-emotional-energy.html
Explores how tension, emotion, and environment shape breath and sound — introducing the “breath reset” as a tool for restoring calm and clarity.

Weekly Voice Insights #46 – The Four Pillars of Voice—Intention, Breath, Tone, and Connection
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/07/weekly-insight-46-four-pillars-of.html
Lays out the DYAV framework, showing how breath supports intention and shapes tone and connection — a clear conceptual bridge to this post’s focus on breath under stress.

Weekly Voice Insights #49 – Breath Isn’t the Fix — Awareness Is
https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/07/weekly-insight-49-breath-isnt-fix.html
Challenges the idea of “just breathe” as a cure-all, focusing instead on conscious awareness of what the body is doing. Complements the idea that breath is a reset, not an escape from frustration.

Further Resources

Breathing Practices for Stress and Anxiety Reduction
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10741869/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
A medical overview of how deliberate breathing activates the parasympathetic system and calms the stress response.

Effect of Breathwork on Stress and Mental Health: A Meta-Analysis of Randomised-Controlled Trials
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-27247-y?utm_source=chatgpt.com
A meta-analysis showing breathwork’s measurable effect on stress, anxiety, and mood regulation.

Keeping Your Cool: 40 Stoic Quotes on Taming Anger
https://dailystoic.com/keeping-your-cool-40-stoic-quotes-on-taming-anger/?utm_source=chatgpt.com
A practical collection of Stoic reflections on anger, judgment, and self-command from Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Weekly Voice Insight #61-Listening Before Leading: The Discipline of Perception



“First learn the nature of each thing, then learn what it demands of you.” — Epictetus, Discourses 1.20.7

Hearing What’s Really There

I once worked with a coach who gave a steady stream of corrections during a lesson. That’s fairly normal — in this kind of work, you sing, they listen, and then you get feedback. Because we don’t hear ourselves the way others do, it helps to have a trusted outside ear, especially when working on subtle adjustments. The moments pass so quickly that you may not even notice what you’ve done, so a certain amount of trust is built into the process.

We usually recorded these sessions, though listening back was never easy. Hearing yourself can be uncomfortable, even humbling, but it became part of my regular practice. I’ve often said that recordings let you hear your voice as others hear it — and that habit alone can change how you understand tone, pitch, and emotion. Awareness grows when you stop relying on memory and start listening to what actually happened.

What surprised me one day, replaying a session, was realizing that many of the issues this coach described were hypothetical — things that might have gone wrong but hadn’t.  Listening objectively, I could hear that the feedback was based on possibilities, not reality.

Teaching Through Observation

That gap between perception and projection came back to me years later, when I spent time at KaosPilot in Aarhus through a teaching grant. Their facilitator guidelines said something I’ve never forgotten: step back from what you know so well. What’s obvious to you might not be to the person you’re helping. Let them observe what they’re doing before you jump in to correct it. That takes restraint — and practice.

The same principle shaped how I later approached teaching. From time to time, I’d pause the lesson or presentation for a short check-in. Everyone would sit in a circle and respond to a simple prompt — not graded or judged, just shared. I’d take notes to see how people were processing ideas, what they understood, and where their thinking seemed to lead next. It wasn’t about evaluation but perception: learning what was really happening in the room.

That practice taught me as much as it taught them. I began to see how students made sense of what I said, how they re-framed it in their own words. The check-in also became an exercise in concise, authentic communication. No one could interrupt or cross-talk, so people learned to listen fully before speaking. Over time, that simple rule created a space of safety and genuine exchange — a room where attention itself was the teacher.

The Discipline of Perception

Epictetus might call this the discipline of perception. Before you act, speak, or correct, you must see what’s in front of you and understand its nature. Then, and only then, can you respond in a way that truly serves it. Otherwise, we act from imagination — from the world inside our head rather than the one before our eyes.

That same discipline applies outside the studio. When you’re leading or facilitating, the time when you’re not speaking is often the most revealing. It’s when you can see how the room is taking in what’s been said — what connects, what doesn’t, and what still needs space.

Listening in Practice

In voice work, that kind of restraint is essential. The teacher listens for what the body and breath are truly doing, not what they expect to hear. The student learns to notice sensation before judgment — to feel the tone, not chase it. The same applies in conversation, leadership, and daily life. The more we can hold still and listen, the more accurately we respond.

Presence, in this sense, isn’t a performance quality. It’s the outcome of attention — an unhurried awareness that lets us see and hear things as they really are. The best coaches, leaders, and communicators aren’t the ones who have all the answers ready, but the ones who wait long enough to ask the right question.

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Wednesday, October 8, 2025

 Weekly Voice Insight #60 — Breath, Airflow, and Effort: The Physics Beneath the Voice


Her teaching lives on in every mindful breath.


Highlighted Quote:
“Most vocal difficulties come down to two things: not taking in enough air—or not using the air you have.” — Margaret Harshaw

Publication Date: October 2025

Synopsis

This week’s reflection returns to the foundation of all voice work: breathing. Whether in song or speech, the voice depends on how efficiently air becomes sound. Breathing may seem automatic, but when we use the voice intentionally, the physics change. This piece reframes breath control as breath coordination—a process of balancing airflow, energy, and ease rather than forcing “support.”

Takeaway: Effective breathing isn’t about how much air you take in, but how clearly you sense, manage, and release what you already have.

Teaching Note: Breathing for Singing and Speaking

  1. Airflow and Sound
    To sustain sound, sufficient air must pass through the larynx (the structure that houses the vocal folds, or vocal cords). “Sufficient” means just enough to keep the folds vibrating steadily—no more, no less. Too much air creates a breathy tone; too little makes the sound pressed or strained. Either extreme reduces acoustic power.
    For both singers and speakers, the task is to manage airflow, not force it. The body finds equilibrium through steady release, not pressure.

  2. From Air to Sound
    Aerodynamic energy (airflow) becomes acoustic energy (vibration). Only a small fraction of that energy turns into sound, but when conversion is efficient, the voice feels and sounds free. The subtle vibrations we sense in the chest, throat, or face are physical feedback—cues that airflow and vibration are working together.

  3. Freedom of the Vocal Folds
    When airflow is managed with balance, the vocal folds can vibrate freely, and the surrounding muscles of the throat don’t have to engage unnecessarily. The throat itself doesn’t produce sound; it simply houses the folds. When breath pressure is steady, those muscles can stay relaxed, allowing the voice to function with ease.

Scientific Perspective

  • Pressure and Flow: Subglottal pressure (the air pressure beneath the vocal folds) drives sound. Pressure above the folds tends to stay low until air exits through the mouth or nose.

  • Lung Volume: In everyday speech, we use only a modest portion of lung capacity. Singing long phrases or projecting the voice for teaching can draw on much deeper reserves.

  • Pitch and Effort: Higher pitches require stiffer vocal folds and greater air pressure. The chest, back, and intercostal muscles (the small muscles between the ribs) help stabilize this support.

  • Quick Breaths: For a “catch breath,” air must move through open pathways. The abdominals and intercostals release instantly, allowing the diaphragm to descend naturally.

Breath Management in Real Use

Margaret Harshaw used to remind her students that most vocal problems come down to two things: not taking in enough air—or not using the air we have. That insight applies to anyone who relies on their voice. We often under-prepare the breath or, just as often, hold it without realizing it.

“Every habit and capability is confirmed and strengthened by the corresponding actions—walking by walking, running by running.” — Epictetus, Discourses II.18

The real solution is not to take more air, but to manage how much air we take based on how we plan to use it. In most daily conversation, the body knows exactly what to do. We naturally take in the amount of air we need to finish a sentence, and we release it without thinking. But when the voice takes on a more athletic role—teaching, presenting, or singing—it helps to bring that process into awareness.

One exercise that highlights this is a breathing pattern often attributed to the 18th-century castrato Farinelli, though versions of it appear across disciplines—from vocal training to athletics and stress management. (You’ll find a deeper look at this exercise in Weekly Voice Insight #24 – The Farinelli Breath: Patience and Precision in Practice, linked below.)It’s the vocal equivalent of a dancer practicing a plié. A dancer doesn’t rehearse bending because they’ve forgotten how—it’s so they can feel what happens in the muscles, joints, and balance during that familiar movement. In the same way, breath exercises don’t teach us how to breathe; they help us notice how the body behaves when we breathe.

Sometimes we find that we’re stacking the breath—layering small sips of air on top of what’s already there, creating internal pressure instead of usable flow. At other times, we may realize we’re holding the breath entirely, a subtle response to emotion, anticipation, or even anxiety. Bringing attention to this moment—what the ribs, abdomen, and chest are doing—helps reset the natural rhythm.

Our goal isn’t to control breath, but to coordinate it. By simply observing how we inhale and release, we restore the balance between air and sound. The steadier and more responsive that balance becomes, the more freely the voice can function—whether speaking, performing, or leading others.

Why Breathe Consciously?

Humans breathe instinctively; it’s how life sustains itself. But when speaking or singing, breath must serve an expressive purpose. Conscious awareness helps us refine that connection. Ordinary breathing responds to survival; expressive breathing responds to meaning and phrasing.

No single method works for everyone. What matters is discovering the coordination that allows breath to serve both sound and sense without tension or excess effort.

Related Posts

  • Weekly Voice Insight #11 – Breath as the Foundation of Voice: Finding Openness and Expansion

  • Weekly Voice Insight #17 – Building Your 12-Minute Practice Plan: Start with Breath

  • Weekly Voice Insight #24 – The Farinelli Breath: Patience and Precision in Practice

  • Weekly Voice Insight #34 – The Breath Beneath Resilience

  • Weekly Voice Insight #49 – Breath Isn’t the Fix — Awareness Is

Further Resources

Elias Mokole

Keynote Speaker, BA & Beyond 2025 | Founder, Developing Your Authentic Voice
Developing Your Authentic Voice Newsletter – 

 https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/develop-your-authentic-voice-7337908264820453378

 
#DevelopingYourAuthenticVoice #VoiceMatters #Clarity #Presence #BreathAwareness #VocalTechnique #Epictetus

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Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Weekly Voice Insights #59 – Bias Alert Check-In: Guarding Clarity in Voice and Awareness

Noticing the stories we carry into the room


Red glasses on. Bias radar active!

We often walk into conversations carrying assumptions we don’t notice. The same thing happens with the voice. A singer may repeat a phrase without clear intention, or a speaker may let adrenaline carry them through too quickly, without giving the words space to land. These slips aren’t deliberate — they’re habits. In the same way, our minds fall into biases that shape how we sound before we’ve even chosen the words.

The idea of a Bias Alert Check-In came to me while working with AI. I realized the tool often gave back exactly what I wanted to hear. That was flattering, but it also meant I could miss what was really there. So I started asking it to flag possible bias in my drafts. Erasing bias isn’t possible, but paying attention to when it shows up — that is.

And what I mean by bias here isn’t just politics or surveys. It’s the small, everyday judgments that creep into our tone. Speaking too quickly because we want to get everything out without leaving a pause. Losing track of intention. Assuming the other person won’t follow us. Those cues show up long before the words are finished.

I’ve also noticed this reflected in some recent work on communication. A June 2025 article, Why Tone of Voice Matters in Communication, described how small changes in tone can shift the level of trust people place in what’s being said. Another piece, The Emotional Signature of Your Voice (July 2025), pointed out that clarity depends on whether your tone matches what you mean. That matches my experience too: when intention isn’t clear, or when you overlook how much breath you actually have for a phrase, the sound reveals more than the words alone.

“When any impression comes upon you, remember to say: you are an impression, not the thing you appear to be.”
— Epictetus, Discourses 1.20

Impressions arrive quickly and feel convincing, but they’re not always the full story.

That reminds me of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk, The Danger of a Single Story. Her point wasn’t that stereotypes are always false, but that they are incomplete — they leave out the rest of the picture. I used her talk often in a first-year seminar course for new college students. Every time I watched it, I learned something myself. It helped students see their own single stories, and it gave me the chance to check mine too.

What made it so powerful was her honesty. She wasn’t lecturing about bias; she was telling her own. She spoke about Fide, the boy who helped with chores in her home. She had always been told his family was very poor, and that became her single story. Then she visited their home and saw the beautiful baskets the family had made. In that moment she realized she had reduced the whole family to one narrative of poverty. The story wasn’t false, but it was incomplete.

I’ve seen the same pattern in my own work. In performance, it can be tempting to repeat a phrase the same way because that’s how it’s always been done. Imitation has its place — choosing a strong model can teach us a great deal — but if we stop there, something gets lost. In my experience, the listener is more engaged when the interpretation has been made our own. Epictetus described this in his own way when he wrote about the art of the speaker and the art of the listener: communication is most alive when what we bring is genuinely ours and it connects across both sides.

Teaching was the same. Templates and old syllabi gave me a starting point, but unless I reworked them for the students in the room, they didn’t quite fit. AI is no different. It can provide useful material, but if I take it as-is, I’m not really bringing my own voice to it. The Bias Alert Check-In makes me stop and ask: is this just a convenient version, or have I adapted it into something that truly reflects me?

And we know bias can be heard, even unconsciously. An article called Silent Signals: How AI Can Read Between the Lines in Your Voice (July 2025) described how machines detect hesitation, stress, or pacing shifts in ways humans often miss consciously — but still respond to. If AI can hear our hesitation, so can people.

That’s why I use a simple Bias Alert Check-In, a short set of prompts to reset tone and attention:

  • Who or what am I reacting to?

  • How’s my breath?

  • Am I leaving space for the other side?

First impressions and single stories will always come. They tell us something, but not everything. The Bias Alert Check-In is a reminder to pause, notice, and stay aware of what comes out of our mouth. That small pause also opens the door for the listener — it makes space for a real exchange, where both sides are part of the conversation.

Related Posts

Further Resources

Elias Mokole Keynote Speaker, BA & Beyond 2025 | Voice Presence & Change Founder, Developing Your Authentic Voice Newsletter.

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