🎙️Weekly Insight #57- The Light Behind the Clouds: The Will That Remains Our Own
Epictetus, Margaret Harshaw, and Ardis Krainik on what it means to choose rather than drift.
The will to choose, the voice to carry it.
That image brought to mind a line from Epictetus:
“My will is my own. Nothing can truly hinder me unless I consent.”
Clouds block the view, rejections sting, evenings feel aimless—but these only take as much power as we give them.I remember one of the hardest parts of working with Margaret Harshaw wasn’t when she asked me to sing louder or higher. She never did that directly. What she pushed me to do was notice. To sense what my body was doing rather than wait for an outside signal. She asked me to pay attention to the choices I was making, not to the sound itself or the approval of someone listening.
And when I struggled—when I thought, Why isn’t this working? What difference am I supposed to feel?—she would remind me: “Singing is 95% mental. You will the voice to do what you choose for it to do.” At the time, I didn’t fully understand what she meant. I thought will was about effort. But what she was pointing to was clarity. First, you have to know what you are willing the voice to do. Without that, you just repeat exercises mindlessly, hoping something will change. The mental part wasn’t about force. It was about choosing, then directing the voice toward that choice.
During that same period, I was at Lyric Opera of Chicago as a young artist. Harshaw came in my last year and a half there, and she wasn’t the only powerful figure I learned from. Ardis Krainik, the general director, had an unmistakable clarity about the direction she set for the company. In my exit interview with her—something she offered every young artist, which I thought was a mark of real class—she looked at me and said, “Elias, I’m not concerned for you. You have the volontà.”
I knew the word meant “will.” At the time, I thought, Well, I’d love a job more than a compliment. But many years later, those words echo differently. Epictetus wrote:
“First decide who you choose to be, then act accordingly.”
That’s what she must have seen in me—the capacity to will, to choose, and then to act with that choice..
Choice shows up in quieter moments, too. Around seven in the evening I often feel caught in a strange limbo. I’m not ready for bed, but I don’t know whether to keep working, rest, or reach out to someone. The pull is strong to drift into nothing in particular. Yet that, too, is a matter of consent. If I give in, the evening slips away. If I direct my will toward even one small action—calling a friend, reading a passage, or simply stepping outside—I change the quality of that hour.
The same principle applies in professional life. Recently I reflected on how impersonal rejection letters feel. They arrive polished but cold, with no real acknowledgment of the person who applied. The words can sting, but they only gain real force if we let them. We can consent to let them define our worth, or we can move forward with the work that matters.
Music reinforces this truth in its own way, and I felt it most clearly last week at the recital in Duluth Heights. Those concerts in retirement communities often take place in smaller, more intimate rooms. The space there had tall windows that opened onto the same kind of weather I saw this morning—gray light and shifting brightness. The acoustics carried well, and you could feel how the sound reached every corner.
The songs themselves carried the weight of Epictetus’s insight. Purcell’s If Music Be the Food of Love, with the line For then my listening soul you move. Stephen Foster’s Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me. Gerald Finzi’s To a Poet a Thousand Years Hence. And in Mozart’s “Abendempfindung,” with its reminder that life’s stage passes quickly and that each scene becomes a pearl and a crown, I could see how the words landed.
That’s the power of live performance. The notes are fleeting, but in the moment they awaken something in the listener. You can see it in their faces and feel it in the room. The acoustic vibration stirs memory, longing, joy, and sometimes tears.
Stephen Foster’s songs captured this truth directly. In All the Voice of Bygone Days, the lyric speaks of “weeping old time sorrows, or smiling as in days of yore, when each heart its burden bore of love and pity, bliss and pain.” That is what comes alive in performance—the way a song recalls burdens carried, joys remembered, and feelings once thought forgotten. The “voice of bygone days” does come back again, whispering to the weary-hearted.
Which brings me back to Epictetus. The music awakens because both singer and listener consent to be moved in that moment. The clouds, the rejections, the restless evenings—none of these can hinder the will unless we hand over that power.
When I looked again at the lake later that morning, the light still pressed through the gray. The clouds didn’t lift, but they didn’t stop the brightness either. Circumstances, doubts, or setbacks may cover the sky, but they cannot control the will unless we hand them that consent.
The voice works the same way. Harshaw’s lesson wasn’t about ignoring difficulty—it was about choosing how to meet it. Whether in a rehearsal, a job search, or an evening at home, the question remains: will I let the gray decide for me, or will I choose to bring forward the light that’s already there?
That choice doesn’t erase the clouds. But it keeps the will, and the voice that carries it, firmly our own.
Related Posts
- Weekly Insight #14 – Your Voice as Your Calling Card https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2024/11/weekly-insight-14-your-voice-as-your.html
- Weekly Insight #50 – Authenticity Can’t Be Auto-Generated https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/07/weekly-insight-50-authenticity-cant-be.html
- Weekly Insight #51 – The Voice You Trust May Be a Lie https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/08/weekly-insight-51-voice-you-trust-may.html
- Weekly Insight #54 – Re-Entry and the Power of Hello https://dyavwithelias.blogspot.com/2025/08/weekly-insight-54-re-entry-and-power-of.html
Further Resources
- Margaret Harshaw — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Harshaw?utm_source=chatgpt.com
- Ardis Krainik — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ardis_Krainik?utm_source=chatgpt.com
Elias Mokole Keynote Speaker, BA & Beyond 2025 | Voice Presence & Change Founder, Developing Your Authentic Voice Newsletter.
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