Weekly Voice Insights #96: Doing the Thing Itself

Breath, practice, steadiness, and preparing the voice before speaking

"Just as the one training the voice does so through the voice, so too, if you wish to grow in steadiness, practice it daily—by doing the thing itself."

— Based on Epictetus, Discourses 1.4

• φωνή (phōnē): voice, sound
• ἕξις (hexis): trained condition, habit formed by practice
• βέβαιος (bebaios): steady, dependable
• πνεῦμα (pneuma): breath, airflow, vital force
• ἐνέργεια (energeia): active use, being at work

We breathe every day.

Because breathing happens automatically, it is easy to overlook its role in how we speak. Yet breath is one of the few parts of voice use that we can bring into awareness and practice deliberately.

Sometimes it takes energy just to begin. It can become easy to make excuses, to think I should do this instead of that, or that I am too tired. The resistance often appears before the work itself begins.

Here are some of the daily practices I have set out for myself: writing, a morning routine, singing, memorizing, and walking. But they remain intentions until I actually return to them and do the thing itself.

Voice practice is not only about what comes out of our mouths. It includes the breath, awareness, and intention that come before we speak.

φωνή (phōnē) — NOTICE THE VOICE

Before I can work with the voice, I have to listen to it.

It is easy to focus on the words I have prepared, the message I want to communicate, or the point I am trying to make. But voice practice also asks me to listen to what is happening as I speak.

• What happens before the sound begins?
• What do I hear in my breath, pace, or tone as I begin to speak?
• Do I notice how I am speaking while I am speaking?
• Do I notice how my voice sounds when I hear it back in a recording?

Recording a voice memo, practicing a message into a phone, or listening back to something I have spoken can make subtle habits more noticeable. Before I can make adjustments, I have to become aware of what the voice is actually doing.

ἕξις (hexis) — BUILD THE HABIT

Practice creates familiarity and I find what I repeat becomes dependable. Over time, repetition begins to happen more easily, even subconsciously. Then I can move on to the next task without needing to think about every step.

What I have chosen to focus becomes available as if by "magic". Or as my parents demonstrated to me - "magic" of this kind is a product of hard, disciplined work.

• Taking one breath before responding
• Pausing before entering a conversation
• Noticing the body before speaking

A single action repeated often becomes a habit that is available when needed.

βέβαιος (bebaios) — CULTIVATE STEADINESS

Steadiness is not something we suddenly possess. It develops through repetition.

When we practice returning to the breath, we create a point of return during stressful moments, difficult conversations, and situations that demand a response.

• What helps me feel grounded before I speak?
• What changes when I pause?
• What remains steady even when circumstances are not?

Steadiness does not mean sounding perfect. We can admire a polished “radio voice” or the precision of modern recording technology, but the goal is not to remove the human qualities from the voice. It is to understand our own habits and know whether the voice is doing what we intend it to do.

πνεῦμα (pneuma) — RETURN TO THE BREATH

Each week in Developing Your Authentic Voice with Epictetus: A 52-Week Reflective Journal for Intention, Breath, Tone, and Connection, I include a Voice in Practice prompt to bring the week’s ideas into everyday situations. This week’s practice is remarkably simple: 

1. Before you respond, take a breath.
2. When the impulse to speak rises, pause.
3. Then speak.

I notice this impulse most clearly when something hits me emotionally. In that moment, I may want to answer right away.

One or two beats of breath can change the response. The inhale creates a small space.Within that space, we have an opportunity to observe:

• Am I reacting?
• Am I listening?
• Am I rushing?
• Am I holding my breath?

Breath, airflow, and vital force are not fixed. The power, control, and use of the breath can be enhanced through daily, incremental awareness.

ἐνέργεια (energeia) — PUT IT INTO ACTION

Breath becomes useful when it is used.

I sometimes joke that breath is a renewable resource. We do not need to save it. We can use the air we have and take another breath when we need one.

That sounds simple, but it is easy to forget when we are thinking about breath too much. We may try to take too large a breath, hold it, manage it, or make it behave. Practice helps us learn what an enlarged or enhanced breath feels like in the body and what it feels like to use it naturally.

This is part of what the Farinelli exercises help us notice. Exercises like this can teach us how the body receives breath, organizes breath, and releases breath over time.

Lately, I have noticed how much of my inner talk is about energy: when I have it, when I do not, and when I should work. When I am tired, I can become more irritable. Observing that gives me a chance to make a different choice.

The voice becomes more dependable when breath is brought into daily situations:

• Conversations
• Meetings
• Teaching
• Presentations
• Moments of disagreement
• Everyday exchanges

One breath may not solve every problem, but it can create a reliable point of return. A five-second inhale followed by a longer exhale can become a dependable reset. With practice, the body begins to recognize that pattern, allowing the breath to become a familiar place to return to.

INNER CHECK-IN

• In what situations do I feel the impulse to speak right away, without pausing first?
• In that moment, what happens when I begin to speak?
• When am I most likely to speak from irritation or fatigue?
• What repeated practice helps me become more dependable?

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Weekly Voice Insights #95: What We Think We Already Know

Breath, assumption, and bringing voice use into awareness

“You cannot learn what you think you already know  — Based on Epictetus, Discourses 2.1

• ἀκούειν (akouein): to hear, to listen attentively
• κρίσις (krisis): judgment, decision
• δοκεῖν (dokein): to suppose, to assume
• ἐξέτασις (exetasis): examination
• ἑτοιμότης (hetoimotēs): readiness, preparedness

We already know how to make sound. This is one reason voice practice can be difficult.

We speak every day. We breathe every day. We make sound without needing to study it. So it is easy to assume that we already understand what the voice is doing.

The resistance may begin there. Why would I need to learn something I already do?

Voice practice begins when we start noticing what is happening underneath the sound.

• Where do I feel the breath in the body?
• Does the breath feel like it rises in the body?
• Do I notice tension in the tongue, jaw, or throat?
• Am I speaking faster than I need to?

When we are speaking, we are usually focused on what we want to say, what someone else said, or what we need to answer. Sound comes out, so we move on. We communicate, but we may not be observing how we are using the voice while we communicate.

But making sound is not the same thing as understanding how we make sound.

ἀκούειν (akouein) — LISTEN WITH WILLINGNESS

Listening begins with a willingness to pause. We listen to another person, and we also listen to ourselves. This type of listening is observational.

• What do I hear?
• What do I feel?
• What changes when I inhale?

Before we respond, we have to stay open long enough to receive what is actually being said.

κρίσις (krisis) — NOTICE THE JUDGMENT

Certainty can arrive too early. It can happen quickly. We think we understand before we have fully listened.

• What does certainty feel like in the body?
• Have I already decided what I think before I have fully heard?
• Am I still listening, or am I already answering?

δοκεῖν (dokein) — EXAMINE WHAT YOU ASSUME

We all make assumptions. We have to. We cannot examine everything in every moment. The problem comes when assumption hardens into certainty.

In voice practice, that certainty may sound like:

• I already know how to breathe.
• I already know how to speak.
• I already know what my voice does.

Familiarity can make us less curious. The work is to notice the assumption before it decides the response for us.

ἐξέτασις (exetasis) — BE WILLING TO EXAMINE

You cannot learn what you refuse to examine.

Before the sound starts, the inhale gives you a small space to notice what is happening.

• Am I rushing?
• Am I reacting?
• Am I listening?

A pause can signal a reset.

ἑτοιμότης (hetoimotēs) — PAUSE BEFORE RESPONSE

The inhale marks the moment before response.

Pause long enough to hear before you decide.

One breath may be enough. But even one breath can interrupt the assumption that we already know what is happening.

Readiness is the moment when the body, breath, and thought are available enough for the voice to enter clearly.

INNER CHECK-IN

• What do I think I already know about my voice? 
• Do I know what I sound like to others?
• Where do I feel the breath in my body before I speak?
• Am I speaking faster than necessary?
• Do I notice tension in the tongue, jaw, or throat?

Weekly Voice Insights #94 —One Thought, One Sentence, One Breath

“Understand what you mean before you speak.”

— Epictetus, Discourses 2.23

• νόημα (noēma): thought formed in the mind
• σαφής (saphēs): clear, distinct
• φρόνησις (phronēsis): sound practical judgment
• πρόληψις (prolēpsis): preconception

Before an important conversation, we usually think about what we are going to say. We gather the points, and arrange the details. Preparation has value and creates direction. Still, the real test often comes in a much smaller moment: the instant before sound begins.

At that point, the practical question becomes: What happens when we begin speaking before the thought has fully formed?

That question was especially useful as I prepared a 50-minute presentation called The Power of Your Voice: Skills for Crucial Conversations. I had the material, the exercises, the slides, and the Epictetus quotes. The remaining work was to compose those pieces into something useful for the audience in front of me.

My reflection practice for the week was simple: keep the quote in view and notice where it applied. As I worked with the presentation material, the words began to point toward a practical question: what has to happen before a thought becomes speech?

I framed this under intention:

What needs to be clear?

1. One idea.
2. One sentence.
3. Let the pause happen.

It sounds simple in theory, but once speech begins, the temptation to correct or explain can cause us to interrupt ourselves.

νόημα (noēma): Let the thought form

The Greek word νόημα refers to a thought formed in the mind. This is the central question: has the thought actually formed, or am I trying to form it while talking?

During the week, one idea kept resurfacing: “Finish one thought before beginning another.”

A speaker may begin with one idea, hear another idea forming underneath it, then start adding explanations before the first sentence has completed its work. The listener then receives pieces of several thoughts rather than one formed thought.

In my singing life, I have learned to give myself some distance before listening back to a live performance. I tried to bring that same habit to this presentation. Thinking back over the presentation, I made this note: “I believe I said what I meant because I had taken time to sift through the material and decide which ideas belonged.”

True, I had more material than I could use clearly, so I had to sift through it, and trust those choices once I began speaking.

My practiced process becomes visible here. The speech happens in the moment, but the framework has been prepared beforehand. Returning to that framework helps thought, breath, sound, and meaning stay connected to the idea instead of trying to express everything at once.

σαφής (saphēs): Make the first idea clear

σαφής means clear or distinct. A thought can be brief and still be clear.

After living with this material, I observed: “I am getting a clearer, more distinct picture of what I’d like to say on Thursday. Ideas are everywhere.”

Often for me, this is how preparation begins. The ideas are present, but they have not yet settled into order. The hierarchy has to become clear before I speak.

φρόνησις (phronēsis): Decide whether the thought should become speech

The word φρόνησις means sound practical judgment.  A thought may be valid, and a sentence may be available, but that still leaves another question: should this be said aloud now?

I had to choose what would serve the audience. I had to decide which ideas belonged  and which ones could wait.

How do I know when what I’m thinking should be said aloud?

Not every thought needs a voice.

If there is even a spark of negative emotion in myself,  I try to remember to pause and do an abbreviated Farinelli breathing exercise (inhale, suspend, release), then decide whether to voice my thoughts.

For me, that is one of the clearest links between Stoic practice and voice work. The question is not only “Should I speak?” The question is “Is it necessary to speak?”

πρόληψις (prolēpsis): Check what the listener has received

πρόληψις is translated as a preconception or a prior understanding. 

What tells me a thought has landed with a listener?

I can feel it in their energy and see it in their eyes. Then I register that, take a breath, and continue to my next thought.

The listener’s face, eyes, posture, and timing often give useful information. A speaker who ignores those signals may continue piling on language long after the first idea needed space.

Epictetus’ instruction remains practical: understand what you mean before you speak. In a crucial conversation, that may begin with something very small. One thought. One sentence. One breath.

Inner Check-In

• Am I trying to put too many ideas into one sentence?
• What is the first idea I need to make clear?
• How can I tell when I need to pause and let the listener catch up?

 Weekly Voice Insights #93 -Freeze the Impulse

“Stay awake. Watch your habits, impulses, and goals like an enemy lying in ambush.” — Epictetus, Discourses 4.13

Greek Glossary

• ἕξις (hexis): habit, settled way of acting
• ὁρμή (hormē): urge, impulse, movement toward
• προσοχή (prosokhē): attention, mindfulness, attentiveness
• φαντασία (phantasia): impression, appearance
• προαίρεσις (prohairesis): deliberate intention, moral choice
• ἐπιμέλεια (epimeleia): care, cultivation, attentive practice

Weekly Voice Insights #92 — The Second Time Around

“Each skill is strengthened by the act itself—walk by walking, speak by speaking.” — Based on Discourses 2.18

Greek Glossary

• ἕξις (hexis): habit, settled way of acting
• χρῆσις (chrēsis): use, practice, application
• ἔργον (ergon): work, act, task
• ἐνέργεια (energeia): activity, being in action
• ἐπιτήδευσις (epitēdeusis): pursuit, disciplined pursuit

There is a tendency to think of improvement as something that appears after enough preparation, reflection, or planning. Epictetus presents a more direct approach. Skills develop through use. A person learns to walk through walking and learns to speak through speaking. Repetition is not separate from development. Repetition is the process that develops the skill itself.

This becomes especially practical in communication. Speaking habits often appear automatically long before we consciously analyze them. Patterns surrounding pacing, breath, reaction, and tone gradually become familiar through use. The same principle also works in the opposite direction. Steadier habits can also be reinforced through continued practice over time.

ἕξις (hexis): Habit, Settled Way of Acting

Hexis points to the way repeated behavior gradually becomes part of a person’s character. Habits influence how someone responds in conversation, how they direct attention, and how they move through ordinary daily activity.

The STOIC acronym I use frequently— Stop, Take three breaths, Observe, Interpret, Choose — gives this kind of practice a practical sequence. It creates space between impulse and response, especially in conversations where habit can take over quickly. The more I remember to use the STOIC sequence, the less I have to stop and search for it. It becomes easier to access while the conversation is happening.

χρῆσις (chrēsis): Use, Practice, Application

Chrēsis keeps the focus on application rather than theory. Knowledge becomes more meaningful when it is practiced regularly and tested through daily use.

Communication develops similarly. Reading language aloud gives the speaker information that silent reflection cannot. It can reveal where a sentence is too long, where pacing speeds up, or where the wording still needs revision.

This process often requires repetition: speak, try, adjust, repeat.

ἔργον (ergon): Work, Act, Task

The Greek word ergon emphasizes meaningful work, responsibility, and task. Small completed actions matter. Returning consistently to a piece of writing, continuing a project, refining communication, or completing unfinished work all strengthen discipline through deliberate effort.

Work also helps counter stagnation. Even modest progress can restore a sense of direction when attention begins to scatter or drift.

Discipline rarely appears dramatic while it is happening. More often, it appears through continued return: editing another page, revising another paragraph, recording another attempt, continuing the task again after adjustment.

Over time, repeated work gradually becomes visible through completion.

ἐνέργεια (energeia): Activity, Being in Action

Energeia points toward activation rather than passive intention. Physical movement, walking, speaking aloud, and remaining engaged throughout the day can help restore clarity and attention.

Waiting passively for ideal motivation frequently produces less progress than beginning imperfectly and continuing the work.

This relationship also appears in communication. Self-analysis has its place, but it cannot do all the work while we are in the middle of the activity. Targeted practice helps us zero in on what we are trying to change and recognize the small improvements that are already happening.

ἐπιτήδευσις (epitēdeusis): Pursuit, Regular Practice

Epitēdeusis references the motion towards the ongoing pursuit of a skill. Improvement develops through continued engagement with the work over time.

I can see this in the things I return to during the week: walking, writing, keeping my singing voice active, revising language aloud, and editing ideas until they become clearer and more usable.

Regular practice reduces hesitation. The first attempt often feels unfamiliar simply because there is no previous experience to draw from. Once the action has been repeated, there is something to recognize, adjust, and build upon.

The Stoics understood that philosophy was meant to appear in daily activity rather than remain separate from it. What we practice regularly begins to show up in how we speak, respond, work, and return to the next task.

Inner Check-In

• Which repeated habits currently influence the way you communicate under pressure?
• What skill in your life would improve most through smaller but more consistent practice?
• Where do you rely too heavily on preparation instead of repeated application?
• What daily activity currently helps restore steadiness, clarity, or momentum?

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Weekly Voice Insights #91 — Freedom and Self-Command

 “No one is free who is not master of themselves.”

— Based on Fragments 379

Greek Glossary

• ἐλεύθερος (eleutheros): freedom, free person
• κρατέω (krateō): to have power over, to master
• δεσπότης (despotēs): master, one who governs
• ἐπιθυμία (epithymia): desire, impulse

There is a tendency to think of freedom as the removal of limits, obligations, or resistance. Epictetus asks us to look at freedom from the inside first. Freedom begins with the ability to govern one’s own responses. The question is not simply whether a person is unrestricted, but whether they are governed by deliberate judgment or by impulse, reaction, and habit.

This idea becomes especially practical in communication. Under pressure, the voice often reveals what is governing the speaker in that moment: urgency, approval-seeking, frustration, hesitation, fear, or clarity of intention. Many vocal habits happen automatically long before we consciously notice them.

ἐλεύθερος (eleutheros): Freedom, Free Person

Freedom can sound abstract until it is connected to daily choices. The ability to decide what deserves attention, what skills deserve practice, and what kind of work corresponds to one’s values is a genuine form of independence.

Disciplined effort can also become a form of freedom. It gives a person space to practice, improve slowly, and direct attention toward meaningful work instead of being pulled constantly into distraction.

In voice work, people sometimes assume freedom means speaking spontaneously without structure or preparation. Yet many speakers actually become more free through repetition and deliberate practice. Familiarity reduces hesitation. Technique becomes useful when the speaker knows what they mean to say. It gives them more ways to express the thought clearly for the listener. A prepared speaker often has greater flexibility than one relying only on instinct.

κρατέω (krateō): To Have Power Over, To Master

The word κρατέω suggests command or mastery, though not necessarily domination in a harsh sense. It suggests the kind of steadiness that lets a person choose a response rather than be pulled into one.

Many speaking habits feel automatic at first. We may rush through our own explanation, and while listening, feel the urge to interrupt before the other person has finished speaking. Practice begins to slow these patterns down enough for observation.

I have been noticing this in my own practice. Repetition itself becomes part of mastery. Even something as simple as recording TikTok videos starts to reduce hesitation over time. The repeated act begins to show which habits need attention.

In speaking, mastery is often less dramatic than people imagine. Sometimes it appears as the ability to complete a sentence calmly, remain grounded during disagreement, or resist the urge to over-explain.

δεσπότης (despotēs): Master, One Who Governs

This word immediately brought back a memory from high school choir: Master of Human Destiny, Am I. The phrase stayed with me over the years because it raised a large question in simple language: what determines the direction of a person’s life?

Epictetus continually returns to the distinction between what governs us internally and what governs us externally. Circumstances may press on us, but our repeated habits of response still determine much of what others hear.

In communication, the question is often simple: what is directing the speaker at the moment of speech? Urgency may make the explanation come out too quickly. Fear may alter the breathing pattern. The speaker may jump into the next statement before finishing the previous one. In either case, the voice begins to follow the pressure of the moment rather than the speaker’s intention.

The goal is not rigid control. It is greater awareness of what is directing the response before the response is spoken aloud.

ἐπιθυμία (epithymia): Desire, Impulse

Impulse often arrives quickly. Sometimes it appears as irritation, defensiveness, or the sudden urge to respond immediately. The physical sensation can happen almost before the conscious thought is fully formed.

This week I reflected on how anger can rise “in the blink of an eye.” That phrase carries a musical association for me. In Handel’s Messiah, the baritone sings of being changed “in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,” and that image helped me think about how suddenly the body can react before judgment has time to enter. When that happens in speech, the breath may feel higher in the body. The vowels have less room, and the sentence can become crowded before the point has landed.

Because we have been speaking all our lives, it is easy to assume the process will take care of itself. The challenge is learning to identify what actually needs practice before the crucial moment arrives.They emerge from reacting too quickly to an impression or emotional spark before there has been time to evaluate it clearly.

Voice practice can help interrupt this cycle. The speaker stays with the word long enough for the idea to finish. A pause before responding or a fuller breath can create enough space for judgment to return before impulse fully takes over.The discipline Epictetus describes is not perfection. It is the gradual development of greater self-command through repeated practice and observation. Freedom, in this sense, comes from active practice. It develops as we return to the same question again and again: what is necessary here, and what is my intention before I speak? The breath before speaking gives the speaker a practical moment to remember what needs to be said before the sentence begins.

🔹 Inner Check-In

• What habits most quickly take control of your voice under pressure?
• Where do impulse or urgency interrupt clarity in communication?
• What speaking behaviors become easier to access through deliberate repetition?
• What would greater self-command sound like in your everyday conversations?

Weekly Voice Insights #90 — Speaking Without Chasing Approval

“Release the need to worry about others’ opinions.”

— Based on Enchiridion 1 & 13 

Greek Glossary

• δόξα (dóxa): opinion, reputation, belief
• ἐξουσία (exousía): what’s within your control or power
• ἐπιμέλεια (epiméleia): care, disciplined attention
•  ἐλευθερία (eleuthería): independence of judgment

δόξα : Speaking to Prove Rather Than to Listen

δόξα refers to opinion, reputation, or belief. In this reflection, it points to the pressure that enters when we begin tracking how we are being received. The issue is not only whether someone approves or disapproves. It is how quickly the mind can begin working around that imagined response.

That can happen silently while we are waiting to speak. Another person is talking, but inwardly we are already preparing the answer, defending our point, or trying to show what we know. The body may still look attentive, yet the attention has moved away from listening. The sentence we are forming inside begins to compete with the person in front of us.

This is one way approval-seeking can enter communication. It may not look like insecurity. It may look like knowledge, urgency, or the need to correct a false impression. When we hear excessive negative talk, for example, we may feel the pull to respond quickly, especially if we believe another view needs to be named. That response may be valid. The question is whether we are speaking from intention or reacting to the opinion already moving through the room.

A practical check is simple: am I listening, or am I getting ready to prove something? That question can return the speaker to the breath and to the actual exchange. It gives the voice a clearer task. Instead of reaching for approval or recognition, the speaker can listen long enough to choose the next sentence.

ἐξουσία : What Is Still in Your Control

ἐξουσία refers to what is within one’s control or power. Epictetus begins there because worry often grows from confusing what belongs to us with what does not. Other people’s reactions are never fully ours to manage. What remains ours is where we place attention and what we do next.

That does not mean we ignore possible obstacles. It is wise to think ahead. It is useful to prepare for the moments when the room may not respond easily. The problem begins when preparation becomes a constant flow of thoughts that crowds out more productive action. At that point, the mind is no longer preparing. It is circling.

In speaking, this distinction matters. We cannot control whether every listener agrees. We can take a breath before entering. We can complete the first sentence. We can notice when we are adding words after the point has already landed. These are small choices, but they are real ones.

“What is in my control?” is not an abstract Stoic question here. It is a speaking question. It asks: What can I do with this breath and this sentence? That shift does not remove every concern, but it gives the speaker somewhere concrete to stand.

ἐπιμέλεια : Let Your Actions Reflect Your Beliefs

ἐπιμέλεια means care or disciplined attention. It is a useful word because intention does not become visible through intention alone. It becomes visible through repeated action. Let your actions reflect your beliefs. Let the way you speak reflect what you have chosen to give attention to.

This is where the breath becomes practical. Every breath can reflect intention, but only if the speaker notices how it is being used. A rushed breath may reveal the pressure to answer too quickly. A held breath may show that the body is bracing before the thought has begun. A breath that supports one complete idea gives the speaker time to say what is meant without crowding the sentence.

Disciplined action also interrupts worry. We do not always stop worry by arguing with it. Sometimes we stop it by returning to the next useful act: listen to the end of the question, then speak one thought clearly. The discipline works because it can be repeated.

This is especially important when motivation is unreliable. Some days motivation is there. Some days it is not. Disciplined attention gives the speaker a way to continue. It gives the voice a structure when the mind is noisy.

ἐλευθερία : Freedom to Stay With Your Intention

ἐλευθερία refers to freedom or independence of judgment. In this context, it is the freedom to speak without handing the center of the moment over to someone else’s opinion. It is the freedom to act from the intention you have chosen, even when the room does not meet us with easy agreement.

There is something practical in the phrase, “I am happy and free because I am me.” It does not need to be inflated. It can be read simply as a way of saying: this is still my life to act from. I am making progress in my life, singing and speaking. I have work I can return to, and choices that are still mine.

That kind of freedom does not remove the need for skill. It actually depends on skill. A speaker who can notice breath and complete one thought has more room to choose the next response. The voice becomes less driven by inner chatter and more available to the task.

Freedom, then, is not separate from discipline. It grows through the actions that keep attention available. When we stop chasing approval, we have more energy for the work itself: listening well enough to choose the next sentence and continuing to make progress.

Inner Check-In

• Where do you start editing yourself while another person is still speaking?

• What happens to your breath when you begin preparing a response instead of listening?

• What part of your next sentence is still within your control?

• What repeated action helps you return to your intention when the mind gets noisy?